A Powerful Plan for Redefining Success After Life's Crises

Today, I want to talk about redefining success and how it helps you design the life you actually want. Welcome to Rebuild With Clarity. We help those over 50 rebuild after life’s hardest moments.

After a major crisis, many people feel a strange sense of failure. It can feel like you took a massive step backward and are constantly trying to catch up. But making it through whatever brought you down is a huge victory. Once Terry and I got to the other side of our own crises, we were done trying to impress anyone. We just wanted a good, peaceful life. We learned that finding that peace does not happen by accident; it takes a solid plan.

The Illusion of the Old Definition

I used to define success by the American Dream. I thought it meant finding a husband, having kids, building a great career, owning a big house, and driving a nice car. That did not work out well for me. I ended up in an abusive marriage with no kids, no job, no home, and no car.

Terry experienced a similar realization. He had a normal middle-class upbringing, started cooking in his teens, and worked his way up the ladder to head chef. He had nice things and traveled, but as he climbed the ranks, alcohol became the center of his life. He watched the people ahead of him working huge hours and selling their souls to the company. That did not look like the success he wanted, and eventually, his world came crashing down too.

Rebuilding Happens in Stages

When you start over, your definition of success shifts dramatically. In the beginning of Terry’s sobriety, success was simply not taking a drink for that day. For me, success was simply finding a safe space. A small studio apartment and a used BMW were huge blessings at the time. Sometimes success really is just making it through the day.

As you keep moving forward, you realize rebuilding happens in stages. Years after my initial crisis, Terry and I relocated to the Pacific Northwest. My dreams were finally starting to come true, but leaving a good job and close friends in California was still a hard transition. I caught myself comparing my situation to the comfort I had left behind. Everyone around me seemed to have established lives, while I was the new person trying to fit in. However, comparing simply steals your joy. I learned to catch those thoughts and start counting my blessings instead.

Redefining Success for Genuine Peace

It is amazing how redefining success evolves as you heal. Once Terry learned how to stay sober, he stopped caring about what other people thought. We stopped worrying about how much we hustle or what we used to own.

Today, my life feels like a dream come true. It is a peaceful home with trees and a balcony, caring for our rescue dog Niko and our cat, and taking a four-wheel drive to the mountains for downhill skiing. I truly enjoy working part-time at a beautiful university and building this venture with my husband. We measure success now by the peace we have and doing the simple things that bring us joy.

The True North Method Framework

Without the constant pressure of outside expectations, you finally have the energy to design the life you truly want. To bridge the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be, I developed a specific framework called the True North Method.

This structure helps you live a successful life by checking in with yourself to discover your true values. It focuses on four key components:

Heart: What brings you genuine joy?
Soul: What gives you inner peace?
Mind: How can you expand your thoughts and focus?
Strength: How can you strengthen your body to enjoy your days?

Once you answer these questions, your path forward becomes clear. It looks like living out that joy, maintaining that peace, and staying mentally and physically strong.

Putting Your Plan Into Action

Chasing society’s expectations leaves you feeling behind. Redefining success on your own terms brings you genuine peace, but figuring out what that peace looks like takes a sturdy structure.

If you want a step-by-step guide to implement the True North Method, we invite you to explore the Estate Experience. We walk you through the entire framework so you can start creating a life you love based on your own values, with ongoing access to the materials you need.

To see how we put this new definition of success into action, watch our YouTube video on living with true purpose.