Stuck in Limbo at 50: 1 Simple Action to Move Forward
Starting over after a major life transition often leaves people feeling stuck in limbo at 50, caught between a past that is over and a future that has not quite started yet. People like to talk about the pain of the past, or they might tell you it gets better over time. But they rarely talk about the thoughts that hit when the old life stops and the new one is still just a blank page.
When Terry started to rebuild his life after getting sober, well-meaning people would tell him not to worry. While he was grateful for their kind words, he was already thrilled just to be sober and alive with a clean slate. But with that clean slate came a challenging realization. He felt like he was living in limbo because he did not know what to do next.
I felt the very same way. When I lived in Florida, I was caught in a severe cycle of abuse. One night out in the dark countryside, my ex-husband pushed me for the last time. I surrendered to God, took action, and made a plan to leave. Escaping meant walking away from everything: my car, my job, my home, and even our horses.
When I finally stepped off the plane in California, I could breathe again. The suffocating weight of the abuse lifted. But just like Terry, once that initial massive relief settled, I did not know how to move forward either.
The Danger of the Empty Space
Even though we were incredibly grateful to be out of our individual crises, we both still carried a quiet fear. We were found ourselves stuck in limbo at 50 between our past and the future we wanted to build. We had found relief, but we had a life with no structure.
Many people rebuilding their lives get caught focusing on the wrong things. It is easy to get stuck in the fear of starting over or to focus on issues that are completely out of your control. We see people wrestling with relational conflicts or financial problems without a solid plan to handle the stress.
The key is to focus on the immediate problems we can control, let go of the rest, and protect our own peace. To do this, we focus on doing what we love.
1 Simple Action: Intentional Movement
One of the main tools we use for our daily framework is movement. Sometimes, finding your way out of limbo takes incredible grit and physical determination. Here in the Spokane area, we recently saw a stunning example of this at the Bloomsday Race. A man actually bear-crawled the entire 7.46-mile course to bring awareness to recovery services. You can read more about his inspiring mission at the BEAR Recovery Foundation.
For Terry and me, we scheduled the movement that would protect our peace and keep us moving forward. This is why you see us cycling, boating, and hiking so often.
Cycling literally keeps our eyes on the path ahead. You cannot ride a bike while looking backward. It is this intentional movement that keeps our heads clear and focused on the new life we are building. We replaced an underlying fear of the unknown with a daily framework that works.
Building Your New Life
Whether we are skiing in the mountains, camping, hiking, out on the boat, or riding our bikes, these activities are a core part of our structure now. They aren’t just hobbies; they are the evidence of our recovery. We chose them because doing what we love keeps us strong, and nature gives us peace.
If you are stuck in limbo at 50, you might be wondering how to get out of your own empty space. For you, the framework might look different. It might be a physical activity like walking or pickleball, or something less strenuous like reading, painting, or chess.
One of the most effective things you can do for your rebuild is to get your mind to focus on something you can actively engage with and enjoy. Taking your thoughts away from everyday problems, even for a short time, allows you to tackle those issues much more effectively.
Try writing down a couple of things you love to do, and then schedule a time to do one of those things this week. When you feel stuck in limbo at 50, taking action is how you break free. If you aren’t sure what your next step should be, you can take our Free Clarity Quiz to help find your direction. You can also watch our latest Rebuild With Clarity YouTube video, The Missing Piece to see what else helped us find our way. Keep going. We’ve got this.
~ Donna (and Terry)
