Aging Well: Secrets to Looking Forward

Aging well wasn’t even a concept I thought about. Then this past year, it all hit me at once. The afternoon naps I suddenly wanted. Dyeing my hair every two to three weeks, trying to keep up with my routine doctor’s appointments, then my eye doctor saying the word cataracts. I felt like I was getting older faster than I could keep up with, and I did not like the feeling one bit.

At first I kept that feeling to myself. But holding it in did not make it go away. It just kept building until I could not ignore it anymore, and it is what pushed me to find ways that changed how I think about getting older.

Getting Better With Age

Even though I was keeping it to myself, my husband, Terry, could tell something was off. When I finally sat down and told him everything, he looked at me and said, “Stop saying that. You’re not getting old.” Short and simple. No long conversation. But something about hearing it out loud changed something in me. I realized the more I told myself I was old, the more I started to believe it.

I did reply though. Well, I like to think I’m just getting better with age!

That conversation with Terry is what sent me looking for real answers, and it led me to three strategies that changed how I think about getting older. Here they are.

Donna aging well, smiling on a bike ride with helmet and sunglasses, lake and trail in the background — Made it to the top!

Awareness Is Wisdom, and Wisdom Is How You Start Aging Well

Here is the first strategy. Making time for doctor appointments, going in for an eye exam, keeping track of your weight, trying to eat healthier, going for walks. All of that is just me paying attention to myself and taking care of what I have. Some of us do these things more often as we get older, and I have come to see that as a good thing. That is not just awareness. That is wisdom, and wisdom is where aging well actually starts.

Don’t Keep It In, Share It

That same conversation with Terry taught me the second strategy. When he asked what was wrong, I said I was fine. I was not fine. Saying it out loud is what made the weight lighter. Not carrying it alone.

Terry knows that one firsthand too. In recovery, the whole thing starts with saying the truth out loud instead of carrying it by yourself. It is not easy, but it is what actually works.

Once I stopped fighting how I felt and just accepted it, other things got easier too. I started watching videos about going gray, what a lot of women now call silver, and I joined a Facebook group for it. I had only just joined, but what struck me right away was how welcoming everyone was. Being around people who were that open made it easier for me to accept things about myself.

That is where I decided to let my hair go gray naturally. I am done dyeing it, and I am done denying it. This stage is not about holding onto who I used to be. It is about being at peace with who I am becoming, and that peace is a real part of aging well.

That same group is where I said something out loud for the first time. Someone asked what I do, and I told them I am the co-founder of Rebuild With Clarity, with my husband. I had never introduced myself that way before. Terry and I talked about that recently, and now we both lead with co-founder first when people ask what we do. It is a small change in words, but it is a real change in how we see ourselves at this stage of life.

Adapt, Don’t Abandon

This third strategy shows up everywhere in my life. Getting older does not mean giving up the things that matter to you. It means finding a new way to keep doing them.

Take our bike club. A lot of us have gotten e-bikes to keep up with the group, and that is the same reason I got mine. I am just a slower rider, plain and simple. That part never really had much to do with age. But the fact that I keep riding anyway, and keep finding a way to keep up, that part does.

We all still get to ride together and enjoy each other’s company, and sometimes I even pass Terry.

Whatever gets you out there and keeps you moving, that is not slowing down. That is staying active and staying engaged, and that is part of what it actually looks like to age well. It is not about outrunning getting older. It is about doing it on your own terms, whatever that looks like for you.

Loving My Life Now and Looking Forward to the Future

For me, this stage of life has meant giving whatever worry I had about aging over to God, and learning to trust the process of aging well. Instead of dwelling on it, I focus on what I can control. Walking our dog. Working on Rebuild With Clarity. Getting on my bike. And with my eyes the way they are these days, I even picked up some fancy prescription sunglasses, because adapting does not stop at the big stuff. It is the little things too.

I am grateful today. Time goes by fast, and that is exactly why I want to enjoy this stage of life.

Living out these strategies has changed how I feel about this whole stage of life.

You pay attention to yourself instead of ignoring what your body is telling you.
You open up instead of carrying things alone.
You find new ways to keep doing what you love instead of giving it up.

All of that has left me feeling more at peace, more accepted, and like I actually love who I am now. That is what aging well looks like for me. And I am looking forward to the future.

If any of this is stirring something up for you, we put together a free guide to help you take your next step forward. You can grab it here. We also have a free guide to help you move foward. You can watch the short video that walks you through it (https://youtu.be/asKbSDMS8lw).